Riley

          “I was only a freshman in high school when my sexual assault happened. I had a loving boyfriend and a good relationship with my family and friends, and such a horrific occurrence never even crossed my mind. Unfortunately, this kept me off my guard.

          I began flirting online with one of my guy friends who was two years older. He asked me to hookup and told me we could keep it a secret, but I decided I didn’t want to hurt my boyfriend, and declined. Nonetheless, when he and one of my female best friends slept over, he brought a ton of alcohol and I had never drank before. He began feeding it to me nonstop and as I had never been drunk, I had no idea what my limits were. I remember throwing up at least 6 times, and he threw up as well but he pretended he didn’t. The next thing I remember is my assault. My female friend was asleep, and it happened right next to her. I asked if he was my boyfriend because I was so drunk; he said yes. He asked me to go into the other room, I said no. That didn’t stop him.

          The next day I snapchatted him “did anything end up happening between us” and he replied “no, definitely not.” At this point I started shrieking and crying, it was my fault I KNEW it was my fault. I shouldn’t have flirted. I shouldn’t have put false ideas in his head. I shouldn’t have gotten so drunk. I shouldn’t have invited him over. I rocked back and forth on my bed, clutching my neon green, six-flags born, stuffed dog named Nonnie, and screaming “what did I do?!” over and over again.

          Nonnie has given me what I’ve needed then and ever since. In that moment, he provided the most loving comfort and reminder of my juvenile innocence. And now, I get to look back on that moment and laugh at young me having one of the worst moments of my life while holding a ragged neon green dog with pink ears and a stoned expression on its face.” –Riley, 19