Addison

          “After my sexual assault, I was very confused. He made me think I wanted it the next day. He kept saying over and over “you asked to do it,” “you wanted it,” “it was fun.” I hated myself and became extremely depressed and developed anxiety. I was put on medication that I still take to this day. It did not help that word spread throughout my high school and I became known as “that slut.” I blamed myself.

          A few months after the assault, I finally told my parents that what had happened was sexual assault. I explained how he kept trying to get me to drink more and how he was cheered for by his friends after we left the room. I was just tossed into therapy; my parents did not know how to deal with me. But, honestly, I am forever grateful. Cindy, my therapist, made me realize that it was not my fault. It took time, but she was honestly the ONLY person I would talk to about the situation.

          She gave me a blue journal after our second appointment. I wrote in it every single day, sometimes more than once. I wrote down every feeling, every reaction, every time something triggered me. It gave me a feeling of comfort, that the more I wrote down, the closer I was to feeling better. Since I talked to very few people about what had happened, this journal served as my story. I would go back and read it constantly, reliving the scary situations in the safe environment of my bed. A year after the assault, I had filled the journal, but, I kept it in my sock drawer for 3 years so every single day I was reminded of what I had overcome.” –Addison, 20